Uncertainty 3

ANTO COMETA

Why?

It’s been over five months.

You said that I have a choice, but you know that I already made one. If you meant was for me to change what I have decided on, that’s quite far from what I have in mind. Apparently, I’m not making another one, but to understand why I made it in the first place.

It wasn’t really an easy kind of thing to do to think that the web of complications surrounding the whole situation combined with a lot of apprehension from my end and as well as yours could only tell instability or vagueness from start to finish. It was indeed a wrong start. I couldn’t blame you if you have been stained by negativity and cynicism. But it doesn’t mean that you have the right reasons for such conclusions.

There were a lot of contradictions I’ve made, perhaps this one is another. The whole scheme of things is just something I don’t fully discern. I’m not also sure if you understand my predicament and the feelings I have right now and the things that I’ve been frequently thinking about.

It’s been a while that I have noticed that you were drifting away. Sudden changes on your behavior have been surfacing. I don’t want to think about it since I don’t want to pass judgment on those actions. But why do you go on? Why do I persist? Is it really the thing we’ve been telling each other or is just the yearning for forged romanticism?

Let me know if you have your answer.