Romance Suck(er)s!

ANTO COMETA

For a very good friend who inspired me because of what she wrote in her blog…

Would you rather not aim for something ideal or something that can make you smile every time you (would) remember episodes that are deviations from the normal routine of that someone?

Reality can be quite devastating particularly in most relationships which just end in the trash bin. Most people would rather not remember at all considering that recollections of that certain person even if it’s considered as delightful (not in the sexual connotation of the word) brings agonizing memories which would eventually set off bad vibes that could ruin the day.

For those who haven’t experienced such it is something to aim or look forward to if ever that someone would arrive. Hopefuls (or hope-fools which ever is the case) that more often than not create their own (fairy tale) scenes of passionate and romantic devotion to each other.

As for those who are just not so into those stuff since their lives revolve around themselves and how they would survive the dog-eat-dog world coupled with some tragic-paranoia-conspiracy theory views on people surrounding them, these dealings are just lavish and wasteful acts to perform.

Generally speaking, these alleged romantic actions are either done at the courtship phase or at the onset of the relationship, worse not at all – just pure engagement in lustful and sexual acts. Sometimes it also depends how the person perceives a certain action to label it as such. Romantic actions generates a certain feeling of euphoria even if it’s just for a very, very short period which is the primary reason why most people seek to come into contact with (ala meeting the ET ang dating).

Given that you are in a relationship or you would be (or wanted however fate doesn’t allow you to), would you not want to experience one or do something (for reciprocity’s sake) for that someone?

It could be something quite extraordinary or just something not far from the usual, but it boils down to making someone feel that their very special in your life even for just a moment.

Be Happy

ANTO COMETA

Do you really mean those words or just mere utterance by virtue of habit? Quite the opposite with the actions you do to the words you say.

Not sharing my thoughts most of the time doesn’t mean that I’m holding back things for my own gain. I would rather be quite about those than to start an argument which can never be settled. Both of us are just too arrogant to admit our flaws, way too proud to admit defeat. You said it yourself.

I could never blame you as to what you’ve become, how you look at things and your view on the relationship. You told me that you have been regaining your self-worth. I’m happy that you do. I know that there’s far to be mad about than those which should be cherished.

Have you recovered from those painful, heartrending memories? Those memories that are nothing more than what they were. Don’t you think that you’re just happy with the thought of being devoted to someone, affection to one which you can consider yours alone?

Very frustrating – I don’t know what to think, I don’t want to speculate.

For whatever its worth, be happy. There’s no other way but to be.

Uncertainty 3

ANTO COMETA

Why?

It’s been over five months.

You said that I have a choice, but you know that I already made one. If you meant was for me to change what I have decided on, that’s quite far from what I have in mind. Apparently, I’m not making another one, but to understand why I made it in the first place.

It wasn’t really an easy kind of thing to do to think that the web of complications surrounding the whole situation combined with a lot of apprehension from my end and as well as yours could only tell instability or vagueness from start to finish. It was indeed a wrong start. I couldn’t blame you if you have been stained by negativity and cynicism. But it doesn’t mean that you have the right reasons for such conclusions.

There were a lot of contradictions I’ve made, perhaps this one is another. The whole scheme of things is just something I don’t fully discern. I’m not also sure if you understand my predicament and the feelings I have right now and the things that I’ve been frequently thinking about.

It’s been a while that I have noticed that you were drifting away. Sudden changes on your behavior have been surfacing. I don’t want to think about it since I don’t want to pass judgment on those actions. But why do you go on? Why do I persist? Is it really the thing we’ve been telling each other or is just the yearning for forged romanticism?

Let me know if you have your answer.